Pronoun Diplomacy

Pronoun Diplomacy

If “Know thine enemy” is

Still a useful admonition,

First, master personal pronouns.

The world divides conveniently into

First person and third person plurals;

That is, we versus they,

Or as case dictates,

Us against them.

The crux and the curse reflect

 1^st person’s inclusion of the speaker.

That’s why the enemy

We talk about is always

 Someone else.

No wonder when we

Don’t really know, we say,

“They killed him.”

On a Lighter Note

In July of 1999 Seattle Seahawk receiver supreme Joey Galloway decided he wasn’t being paid enough four years into a five year contract. He had been a #1 draft choice from Ohio State, my alma mater. In those four years, newer draftees had supplanted Galloway’s place as highest paid wide receiver, so Joey decided to forego training camp and hold out for parity.  Instead of playing in the 1999 season, Galloway lost $5000 a day in missed practice fines and $93,000 a game in unpaid salary. On August 31, the Seattle Times and Ohio State’s Lantern posted the following letter of mine:

FAS

 Dear Mr. Galloway,

In the first eight days of your holdout, you paid more in fines than I earn after 28 years teaching.

Fire your current agent. He is stealing you blind and destroying your future.

Hire me for 1 percent (save 9 percent). We’ll sign ASAP.

The fans will still love you, and I can retire.

Who loves you, baby?

Fred Strine North Bend, WA

OSU, 1971

P.S.  After missing the entire 1999 season, Joey Galloway was traded to the Cowboys, Buccaneers, Patriots, Steelers, and Redskins.  The rest of his career never matched those first four years in Seattle.  Neither did his salary. 

Perspective Check

Perspective Check

One life’s worries used to be plenty.

Then marriage and children

 Compounded the anxiety. Still,

That predated the “Information Age.”

Now worldwide instant access

Means I can share everyone’s worries

Twenty-four hours a day.

Oh, for the good old “Ignorant Age”

When Dad told me to mind my own business.